the holy spirit has arrived

let's be unpretentious for a while. let's be honest.

we all don't live an ascetic life, well don't live up to the morals we set out with into each new year. my point is, we're not as holy as we want to be. or anything. weakness comes from not admitting weaknesses, we should all confess we're nothing more than human.

anyway, the point i'm trying to make is simply that no one will ever be a balanced and whole person if she or he doesn't accept and embrace all parts of her or his personality.
what's the use of sitting in yoga class five times a week when half of the time you're dreaming about movies, or food, porn or shopping. the only thing it does is make you unhappy with who you are, because you might be able to hide your allegedly dark sides from others but never ever from yourself. stop pretending.

i'm not a friend of extremes, and in this i agree with the buddha's middle way; but even he promoted an ideal that is far too ascetic and extreme in my eyes. for imagine, everybody would slowly but surely walk on the path of strict religious life and exit society as nuns and monks, ascets and saddhus, siddhas and prophets, wise women and wise men... there would be no society anymore. and who then would repair the monk's window, or provide nails for doing so? who would donate food to monks or ascets, who would keep streets intact, provide energy, anything?
this doesn't seem to convincing to me, honestly, and never has. there must be a better way, which truly lies in the middle an doesn't demonise any side, doesn't fall into ironclad social rolemodels. what is needed is not refinement through separation and specialisation, but through integration and foresight. i wonder if our heads will ever be big enough for that; but i surely won't stop trying.

incidentally, and this is my motivation for writing this down today, tomorrow my playstation will come home from the repairs, which means i'll finally play the game i've been looking forward to so much. today, i'll play the flute, study and meditate, tomorrow is for gaming. the wonderful thing is, i remain myself both days and see, that neither of these things corrupts or compromises me or my aims.