Wednesday, March 7, 2012

The growth of a project

Interestingly, the desire to write (and write beyond the work on my thesis, at that) does not, as it seems, coincide with my writing on the blog, here. As with many things, I tend to rather procrastinate or, more specifically (since there is no actual focus present, mostly, which would warrant procrastination) just let my unspoken longings trickle into the fog of non-application. That needs to change.

I’m quite busy, lately, which is nice considering the fact that much of last year went by without me making considerable progress on the one project I should and wanted to be progressing on: writing my thesis and getting done with university. Ever so happily, towards the end of last year I was finally able to haul this tottering project back onto the rails of my desk and am now slowly but steadily progressing towards completion.

The interesting situation of writing a thesis in a country different from that of one’s own university (not being in field research but moving away due to personal reasons) has had, beyond causing the momentous deceleration and delay of my work, the very fascinating effect of causing my bibliographical library to be, for the far biggest part, situated at (my new) home. Instead of buying train tickets to go back to my university and access the library in a very limited amount of time, I have again and again chosen instead to hunt down and purchase the books needed for my work. Consequently, the whole project of writing a thesis to finish my studies has become something taking hold much more deeply in my life and concretely, my personal space. Whereas in the beginning I had already feared the moment of nascent fatigue towards any subject I have to spend a long and exhausting time with, this dreaded moment has not come and instead I watch the topic and framework of this project grow on its own in my current life. Therefore I am now rather confident that this focus and, dare I say, ongoing (read: never ending) process of specialisation will continue and shape my life even after handing in my thesis and finishing my studies. As if the thesis I will hand in is less the static outcome, i. e. peak point, of a scientific endeavour, than a snapshot along the timeline of an ever evolving theoretical body. Frightening, as it may seem in one sense, I find this development (that seems almost outside of my own influence) quite fascinating.

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